


Emma Swan, Professional Runner.

by RjIsRandom



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RjIsRandom/pseuds/RjIsRandom
Summary: Emma Swan decides to run, as she usually does when the world gets too tough.One shot.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Emma Swan, Professional Runner.

When snow hugs her, there's no more space enough for her alone. One arm circles around her shoulders, the other cradling a baby who Emma knows has done nothing wrong. An innocent baby, who gargles at funny faces and cries as much as she does these days. And Emma knows, she knows how awful it is to detest a child, a baby. But she does. Because now when her mother hugs her, she doesn't fit into that space anymore. There's a gap in between them that little Neal now holds, a baby boy that Snow cradles closer to her chest than her grown daughter. 

Somehow, that void between them has snaked it's way into Emma's chest, evolving into a chasm of pain. One that has uprooted Emma's life so greatly that she no longer knows where she stands. She's too far apart from them - she doesn't see in black and white, she doesn't know how to wield a sword or a bow, she's scared of horses and has never worn a princess dress or been to a ball or sat on a throne. She's not saving anyone and she's not wearing a crown, she's not who they want her to be nor who they told her she was. She's just Emma, the lost little orphan girl who stumbled her way into this family. This family that had grown and evolved and left her behind, trembling and left alone in the cold of their absence. 

Sunday night dinners would continue on without her, her brother would grow up regardless, Henry has always been Regina's, strong and secure in her guidance, Snow has a new baby and a fresh start to dote on, David teaches Henry to sword fight, he plays with his son and tells him wonderful tales of the old world, Regina has Henry, who has always been enough. She teaches him horse riding, and how to cook, she feeds him proper meals and takes care of him in a way Emma never learned how. And it's with this hug, just a small squeeze of her shoulder from her mother, that Emma realises they will all be okay without her.

She's the one who's wrong, the jigsaw piece too big to fit. She tried to force her way in, to make herself smaller just to fit into their lives, but she knows now what she didn't a year ago - it's her. She's the problem here. Sure, they'd be upset when she goes, but her parents have a new baby, Henry and Regina have eachother, and none of them need her as much as she wants to have them.

Because that's always what she's been searching for. A family who love her unconditionally, a family that she could love with every fiber of her soul. The parents she never had are stood before her, yet they are just as far from reach as they were when she was but a child.

A hug from her mother, a soft squeeze of her shoulder, a smile from her son as everyone prepares for bed. She'll be gone by the time they wake up, fleeing when they all sleep. She's smart enough to know she should be gone but not strong enough to watch what it would do to them. It's for the best, she tells herself. Walking away feels like wading through molasses, stuck to the ground where she thought she had a home.

But Emma Swan has always been an orphan, a girl without a home nor a family. Driving her yellow bug through Storybrooke for one last time as the town sleeps, the hum of her engine rumbling down Maine, she knows that's all she leaves behind. An echo of her engine. She can cross the line freely, and when she does, the innate magic in her veins slowly dissolves as she crosses over, the last thing to leave her as she escapes this horrible lie she built around herself. She can't help but to cry. Tears for the son she has abandoned a second time, the mother who abandoned her once more, the family she forced herself to leave behind. 

Emma Swan had always been a fighter. The second someone tried to push her down she would kick back with all her fury and might. But this time there was nothing she could beat into submission. The only thing stopping her from leaving had been her attachment to the inhabitants of storybrooke. She knew better, had taught herself better than to grow roots where they could never take. By driving onwards, she would have to break herself back down to who she was before. The Emma Swan who was a lone bounty hunter, the strong woman who never had to look back, the fierce girl who could never stay in one place long enough to disappoint people, the hardened girl with no family. As foolish as it was, Emma had grown attached to the town. Leaving town would mean abandoning pieces of herself. The mother, the daughter, the sheriff, the saviour - all of it. But it would be okay. Those small pieces she had evolved into were the responsibilities and expectations she needed the escape from. Regina was the better mother. Neal would be the better child, Regina, David and Snow could be the ones to run the town. The whole place would be better off if she could leave them behind, never sticking her business in theirs.

So she drove on, eyes fixated on the road ahead. Emma Swan was a fighter. She never looks back and she never stays in one place too long. Lest they figure out she's not who they want her to be.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little story about imposter syndrome and not being enough. Built on how I feel the show didn't highlight Emma's reaction to baby Neal well enough. 
> 
> I don't truly believe Emma was never enough for her family / the town, I just believe that's what she would think especially when her parents had a baby the second they left her. 
> 
> Anyways I hope you liked it :) 


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